I can't come to work today...I have March Madness

I tried to get out of work the other day by telling my Culinary Manager, Petra that I was suffering from March Madness and I needed to go home. Coming from me, I hoped she would say "March Madness? What's that?" and sent me home before I infected other co-workers. She didn't send me home. But truth be told, I could care less about basketball--it was just a nice spring afternoon and I wanted to get out and take some pictures, do some MS Paint drawings and drink beer:


More to come later. Look at me. I'm clearly suffering from March Madness. There is definitely something wrong with me. Petra, I need to go home.


Peace.

I <3 www.icanhascheezburger.com

Here are some of my favorite images from I Can Has Cheeseburger? BTW, did I mention I drew the drawing for their About ichc page?

This guy looks just like Stranger Ranger (Holly's cat)




They aren't all lolcats. Some are lolracoons.

Or lolhamsters. This little guy is called the World Peace Hamster by some. Awww...He's so cute I think I'll sell all my guns.


Do you has a flavor? I do: Old Spice.

Sorry, I didn't know you were uh, oh....ummm....oops. I'll be sure to knock next time.

Don't worry, kitteh is not really ded. Just playin'.


And finally, edited for work since this is the only image on the site with profanity, but probably the funniest:


Have a better day, now.

Peace.

Gang Alert: How to Spot Members of the Orange Hat Gang (OHG)

GANGS – “Let’s Cut to the Chase”

• Gangs are present in all 50 states and territories and have become International. Specific gangs (i.e. Bloods, Crips, 18th Street Sureno13, OHG, etc.) which were present only in California, and other western states have made a steady migration east the last 10 -15 years and have or are gaining a foothold in the Midwest and South.
• Gang population actually declined in the late 1990’s but after the World Trade Center tragedy of 9/11 (2001), as police departments shifted focus towards terrorism, and officers were pulled from gang details, gang populations started to increase. Estimates are from between 750,00 to 850,000 gang members.
• Gangs are not confined to urban areas. They are present in small towns, mid-size communities, and suburban areas. Gang activity is present in all geographic areas of Iowa.
• Youth are joining gangs at a younger age and remaining longer. Gang membership may exist between the ages of 6 and 60. Gang membership crosses all socioeconomic, racial, and gender lines. Female gangs account for 5-10% of the total gang population. Because female gang members believe they must prove to their male counterparts, they will also use extreme violence against other female gangs and in some rare instances, against male gangs.

(from http://www.19thcircuitcourt.state.il.us/bkshelf/gangalrt/gangalrt.htm)



WHAT IS A GANG?

A youth gang is defined as adolescents and young adults who interact frequently and are deliberately involved in illegal activities, share a common identity (often expressed through a gang name), adopt certain symbols and/or claim control over certain "turf".

WHO JOINS THE GANG AND WHY?

No one is immune to becoming a gang member although gang members come from every type of background, there are certain factors that may increase the likelihood of gang involvement.

These factors are:

• Peer pressure
• Intimidation from gang members
• Feeling of a lack of love and respect
• Lack of close family relationship
• Lack of discipline
• Low income family
• Low self-esteem
• Single parent family
• School dropout or truant (poor student)
• Victim of abuse/neglect, parental abuse
• Negative role models
• No outside interest

Young people need positive role models, recognition, love and respect from their families and their communities. If their needs are not met in a constructive way, some will turn to the gangs to meet these needs.

MEASURES TO TAKE TOWARD A SOLUTION

Spend time with your children discussing this issue, ask for their suggestions and feelings. Let them know they are not alone. Encourage your children to stay in school; talk to the school and get the tutoring or counseling they need. We all come from different family circumstances and each situation will be different. If there has been open communication with your children as they grow - then they're probably discussing this with you. Point out positive alternatives to them. Offer to help them find something else that give them a sense of pride, a sense of belonging or a means to be recognized as someone of value as parents. By reaching out and joining together in parent support groups or neighborhood watch programs, we can reclaim the community for children.

(from http://www.ci.west-bend.wi.us/Departments/Police/GangInfo.htm)


WAYS TO SPOT MEMBERS OF THE ORANGE HAT GANG (OHG)

Some things to look for:

• Orange Hat (may be a hardhat, or baseball cap, or sometimes camouflaged)
• Orange Vest
• Blue-collared shirt
• Black or brown steel-toe work boots

CAUTION: Members of the OHG typically carry tools and weapons, so they should not be approached. Gang members are unusually hostile members of society.

Some Members of the OHG:

(click for larger image)

I just wanted to post this information in the hope that it might save someone's life someday. If I can save just one child from joining the OHG because he thinks it's "cool" then I will have succeeded. Even if I don't save that poor kid, I will have succeeded. I like to set the bar low.
--John

Peace.

Evidence I gathered against the Orange Hat Gang (OHG)

The following pictures were taken recently by me to demonstrate the wanton destruction of the Orange Hat Gang (OHG). Once I catch these criminals, I will submit this evidence to support my case against them in court. I'm currently working on a class-action lawsuit so others like me will not have to live with this noise and destruction going on in their own backyard.


Exhibit A: Here is a close-up of the graffito-tagged tree I mentioned in the previous post.

Exhibit B: This is one of their OHG camps that they set up when they are doing their 'work' on an area.

Exhibit C: I followed them one day to this place. This is one of their more upscale hideouts. Looks like some sort of meth lab to me. God only knows what harmful chemicals they're cooking up in there.

Exhibit D: They sure like to litter. I think that's one of their boots in the center. I should send it to the FBI and see if they can get a DNA sample from it.

Exhibit E: Here are some unmarked black buckets filled with mysterious harmful chemicals they left behind. I should call the bomb squad to get rid of them.

Exhibit F: They like to tear down trees, remove the bark, and re-plant them with secret communication devices like those shown in the center (I destroyed this device, but other OHG devices remain).

Exhibit G: They also like to remove stones and replace them with these "objects" that are perhaps used in some sort of OHG initiation ritual.

Exhibit H: I snuck into their camp late at night to snap this picture of their pimped out vehicles of destruction. Luckily the snow stopped their efforts, at least until it melted. Certainly the numbers on the side of the vehicle mean something? 312. Maybe the police should check it out.

Exhibit I: Here is one of their piles of dirt they created with their vehicles. You can see the fresh tire tracks in the mud from their joyriding.

Exhibit J: As you can see from this makeshift bulletin board, these men are well-organized and well-compensated for their actions. Unfortunately, as you can see from the "It's the Law" poster, the OHG is trying to pose as a legitimate business. The corrupt law may already be on their side.

Exhibit K: I've been following the OHG ever since my photography teacher in college (Margaret Stratton) urged us to do an assignment on urban development in 1999. As you can see, I've been tracking them for a long time (Note: I got an A in that class. I'm a good student, unlike OHG members).

Exhibit L: Here is another image from the same time period. Note the possible connection to Bush.

Exhibit M: And finally, "Stop." Yes, certainly someone should stop this wanton destruction.

God, I hope this is enough evidence to convict these slippery bastards. Like the mafia, the Orange Hat Gang is well-connected. I wouldn't be surprised if the OHG goes all the way to the top. President George W. Bush probably knows all about them and is keeping quiet. They probably pay his salary. Who knows, maybe the gang is so big, that they even single-handedly voted Bush into office so they could keep a man on the inside. Nah, who am I kidding. I may be crazy for exposing the OHG and saying all this, but even a blue-collared group of shmucks wouldn't be dumb enough to vote for Bush, would they? God, perhaps this gang is more evil than I thought...

Peace.

(ed.-Just for fun...Exhibit N: John Nauman. I'm just an artist. I don't have any real answers, any solutions to this destruction. My job is only to hold the mirror up to society and show us our own ugly face...)

Some gang marked this tree for death...

See that white spray paint on the bottom of that tree? A few weeks ago, a gang of young men, probably four or five of them, came by my area and graffito-tagged about a half-dozen trees in my backyard. I didn't get their names, but they were wearing bright orange-colored vests and similar-colored hats. They've been tearing up my neighborhood for weeks now, but I haven't been able to catch them.

I looked on the internet to see what this particular symbol, a white 'X' as it's called by this particular gang, meant. I remember seeing a tattoo of a teardrop on a customer when I worked at HandiMart, and the internet told me it meant that this particular gang member had killed someone. The internet informed me that this so-called "X" bears a similar meaning--but it doesn't mean that this particular maple tree is a hardened criminal--it means it's marked for death by the Orange Hat Gang (OHG).

Five of the six trees that were tagged have been brutally murdered with chainsaws by the OHG. They hacked this guy up pretty good, and you can see they clean cut off one of his limbs, but they let him live. Perhaps it's a warning to the other trees from the OHG, I'm not sure. I never understood the seemingly random actions of this particular gang.

I've seen them before in my town, this gang. Like other gangs, the OHG pimp out there cars. But unlike other gangs who innocently paint flames on their cars and put hydraulics in them to make them bounce, the OHG likes to paint their cars orange and put hydraulic instruments of destruction on them best suited for tearing down forests and digging up dirt. They also like to tear up the streets and close off sidewalks too; taking out trees is just a hobby of theirs. I'm not sure who to write to about this gang, because at times I have seen the police help block off roads and sidewalks so these men can continue their wanton destruction. I suspect that the men in black are just a similar gang in cahoots with the men in orange. They won't rest until the earth is paved over in cement, it appears.

I still don't understand their feud with the trees, though. Trees don't usually fight back. Perhaps one ill-fated night a bolt of lightning struck a tree branch and killed a member of the OHG, and they harbor an arboreal vendetta because of it. But it wasn't the tree's fault it was struck by lightning. It's not like the tree could take shelter indoors during a lightning storm. It was the gang member's fault for seeking shelter under the tallest tree in a thunderstorm...everyone knows that's a dumb thing to do.

But these gang members never seemed too bright. I went to school with a few of them, and they were good kids for the most part. Most of them envisioned leading a successful and meaningful life, but they were eventually led to a crime-filled life of destruction, and so adorned the typical bright orange-colored hats and vests and joined the OHG in order to make ends meet.

I'm not sure if the Orange Hat Gang will return to take this tree's life. If they do, I might call the police. I'll let them know that the OHG is back, and up to their old tricks. Maybe they can catch the crooks in the act this time and teach these punks a lesson. It's about time someone put an end to this wanton destruction. Who's with me?

I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees.

Peace.